Way to Grow!

Most people think they need more motivation. Jim Best makes the case that many actually need something far more practical: better ways to learn. In this energizing episode of The No Cry Zone, Jim breaks down why goals often stall, how outdated ideas about education hold people back, and the modern learning pathways that can accelerate growth right now.

You’ll discover why confidence is often learned, not inherited… why confusion drains momentum… and how a simple 30-Day Skill Sprint can help you improve communication, money habits, leadership, fitness, calmness, and more.

If you’ve ever thought “I’m just not good at that,” this episode may change your mind.

Because sometimes the issue isn’t ability — it’s pathway.

Practical. Encouraging. Actionable.
This is Positive Change that Is Doable and Durable.  

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:31

And remember that you've always got a choice. What can you do when you know what you know? When you see the storm begin to grow. Speak your mind.

SPEAKER_00 0:48

That intro song is Cobb's Calling, another great song by Brazen Candor. It introduces the new book, Cobb Servations, which is available in ebook as well as audiobook formats. Check it out, please. It's a fun read, and as Cobb says, a lifetime of advice that's quicker for you than it's been for me. I'm your host, Jim Best, and I'm glad you're here. Let's be candid, shall we? Let's go back to your high school graduation. As the ceremony is wrapping up, you're saying farewell and good luck to many of your friends and classmates, some of whom you may, frankly, never see again. And at that time, was there any one of your classmates that you looked at admiringly and thought, there goes a person who will never need to learn another thing in their life. No? Maybe give that person a few years in college and they will be set for life. That didn't occur to you either. I'm being a bit facetious, of course, here to make a point. Learning, deliberate learning and studying is a vital skill that becomes more important all the time. It is the most critical life skill. And we're going to talk today about how deliberate learning can become a key advantage for you. Most people don't have a learning philosophy or a learning process. They say they learn something new every day, but that's not a skill. That's a benefit of being a primate. A lot of people think they need more motivation to learn more. Or that they need to do something before they do something. That's a self-made obstacle, isn't it? Or they think, if I could just get fired up, if I could just get more disciplined, if I could just want it more. But often that's not the real problem. The real problem is much more simple. They don't know how to learn what they need next. And if you don't know how to learn, motivation gets wasted. Today we're going to talk about something powerful. You may not need more motivation. You may need better ways to learn. That will change your life. The old model still controls people. What am I talking about? Many adults still carry an outdated belief. If I want to improve, I need to go back to school. Or if I want to learn something, I'd have to take a class. Or I'd have to get certified. Or I'd have to do some extensive reading. And I don't have time for that. Now, something I want to be very clear about. This is not an indictment of formal education. But formal education, classwork, is not the only pathway anymore. And for many goals, it isn't even the best pathway. Several years ago, it felt like I might be running out of time to achieve one of my long-term goals, attaining an MBA degree. I had applied and been accepted in five different MBA programs. I'm serious. But with career and other commitments, I would take a few classes, then have new job responsibilities, or receive a promotion that involved relocation. I just couldn't find a way with standard college and university learning. Finally, I found an alternative, online learning. And I did go on to attain my degree and achieve my goal. And since then, dozens of new resources have been developed to enable virtually anyone to learn just about anything. If you want to improve communication or get stronger financially or build confidence, learn leadership, start aside business, become healthier, there are now dozens of ways to learn. But many people don't realize it. So they delay growth because they imagine growth must look like a classroom. That's costly. And that's the old paradigm. Let's talk about why motivation fails so often. Someone might say, I need to get in shape. Good. But then what? Another person may say I need to be more confident. Fine. But then what? Someone may say I need to become better with money. Excellent. But then what? Then what is where most people stall? Because goals without learning pathways create confusion. Confusion drains momentum. This is why some advice sounds good, but changes nothing. Advice like be more assertive, think positive, be a leader, get organized. Those are outcomes. They are not learning systems. People don't need slogans. We need routes, pathways, ways to get it done. So let's go over some of the more modern ways to learn right now. Let's get practical with this. Here are new pathways available today. Microblasts of learning. That's it. Podcast, short lessons, focused videos, newsletters, quick tutorials, ten minutes daily for a year is serious growth. Never underestimate consistent small inputs. Now I'm gonna make a point here. This is for learning, not entertaining ourselves. That is a big difference, and you know it. Second method, just in time learning. Learn right before you need it. Right before you're gonna use it. Got a difficult conversation tomorrow? Study communication tonight. Buying a car next week, study negotiation this week. Traveling soon, learn phrases now. When learning is timely, it sticks better. It's more relevant and meaningful. Third method, laser point learning. Start with a problem. Don't study everything about finance. Instead, study how to eliminate credit card debt first. Don't study all leadership. You don't need to know everything about leadership. Study how to run a better meeting first. Specific problems often create specific learning energy and get you started. And then you establish what I call mental footholds and you develop a better understanding of the topic as you grow and learn. Fourth method, observation studying. Now I'm not talking about being a people watcher. I'm talking about using observation like Jane Goodall did with the chimpanzees as she was studying them. She would sit there for hours observing them, taking notes. Observing them, taking notes. Study people who do things well. Watch great communicators, read the transcripts of their speeches, observe strong managers. How do they handle themselves? How do they present themselves? How do they talk to other people? Analyze calm people under pressure. Notice what effective people repeatedly do. Humans learn this way for thousands of years, not just watching, observing, using our minds. Fifth method, learning by rehearsal. You cannot read your way into every skill. Confidence requires reps. Communication requires reps. Boundaries require reps. Leadership requires reps. Knowledge plus rehearsal becomes capability. Remember, vivid mental rehearsal is the key to identity shaping. Now here's what we want to talk about because this is a key requirement for many skills. That's confidence. Confidence is usually learned. Many people think confidence is a trait. Often it isn't. It is frequently the result of familiarity, competence, repeated exposure, better interpretation of mistakes, and accumulated evidence. That means confidence can be built, and it's a skill. A person terrified of public speaking can improve dramatically. A shy person can become socially smoother. Remember from last week, a shy person can become a social zamboni, smoothing things over, handling things well. A disorganized person can become highly effective, not through wishing, through learning and repetition. That should encourage many of us, shouldn't it? Now I want to talk about some of the thoughts that we have that are learning obstacles. Replace this, I'm just not good at that. Instead, say this. People think I'm bad with money, well, maybe not. Maybe you were never taught systems of handling money. People think I'm awkward socially, maybe not. Maybe you need practice and feedback. People may think I'm not disciplined, maybe not. Maybe you need environment design and momentum habits. Precision in how you diagnose what you need to work on matters. How to learn without feeling overwhelmed. Use the thirty day skill sprint. Pick one area, such as communication, fitness basics, nutrition, organization, money management, leadership, calmness under pressure. Then for thirty days, do this daily. Ten minutes learning, ten minutes applying, two minutes reflecting. Write that in your highlight journal. That's manageable. And it beats waiting six months for the perfect plan, and it beats waiting until September to sign up for classes at the local university. Perfectionism delays what consistency solves. Now, why this matter so much emotionally? And you want to be aware of this. When people don't know how to improve, they are often ashamed. They think, What's wrong with me? I think nothing is wrong with you. I think you're undertrained. That is a much healthier frame, isn't it? Sometimes the problem isn't character. We're missing tools. Sometimes the problem isn't laziness. We don't know the clear pathway. Sometimes the problem isn't weakness, it's outdated methods. That distinction, those distinctions can relieve unnecessary suffering. So let's set a new personal development standard. We need to stop only telling people be stronger, be smarter, work harder, want it more, believe in yourself instead. Here is how to learn that. Here is how to practice that. Here is how to simplify that. Here is how to improve it in small steps. And here is how average people do this currently. That's actionable encouragement. That is practical hope. And that is doable and durable progress. Now, here's the closing challenge. Pick one area of life where you feel a little bit behind. Just one. Now ask, do I truly lack ability or do I lack a modern learning pathway? Be honest. That question could save you years. Then build a simple system. Learn a little, apply a little, repeat a lot until it becomes natural. That's how lives quietly but dramatically enjoyably change. Now, in my blogs on Upwards Best, I generally have a best in small doses. We're gonna add that here today in the no-cry zone. Many people don't need more motivation, they need a clearer way to learn. Growth often begins the moment confusion ends, and you can end it yourself. This is the no-cry zone, positive change that is doable and durable. If this helped you, share it with someone who thinks they're stuck. They may not be stuck, they may simply be one learning pathway away. And that's very good news. They'll thank you for the help. Remember to grab a copy of Cobservations. You'll enjoy it, and it makes a great gift for family and friends. And keep listening to Brazen Candor at brazencandor.com, Spotify, Deezer, and many other music sources. Meanwhile, have a fantastic week. What can you do when you know what you know?

SPEAKER_01 15:59

And you watch the whole world spinning out of control. Everybody wants power. No one wants advice. Everybody wants your feedback. As long as it's so nice, speak your mind. Everybody, you're still back, remember that you always get to it.