The Progress Mindset

What if the biggest obstacle to your progress isn’t lack of talent, lack of opportunity, or even lack of motivation?

What if it’s a lack of clarity—and the social pressure - what your host Jim Best identifies as “Blowback” - that encourages you to settle?  

In this episode of The NoCryZone, Jim shares a pivotal story from his own career when a seemingly certain promotion suddenly disappeared. Instead of accepting disappointment or following conventional wisdom, he used the setback as an opportunity to grow, develop new skills, and create a path that ultimately led to success.

Along the way, Jim explores ten practical principles for making more progress faster than ever, including:

• Knowing exactly what you want
• Creating a vivid vision of success
• Connecting goals to meaningful emotions
• Seeking help from mentors and resources
• Preparing the resources success requires
• Anticipating and handling social pressure (“Blowback”)
• Using Mental Precision to solve the right problem
• Practicing Vivid Mental Rehearsal (VMR)
• Moving forward despite reluctance
• Building Perpetual Momentum through mindset, focus, action, habits, and a Net Positive approach to life

You’ll discover why setbacks rarely have the final vote, why opportunities often survive even when the original path disappears, and how to keep moving toward a worthwhile future regardless of temporary circumstances.

If you’re ready to stop drifting, stop waiting, and start creating meaningful momentum in your life, this episode is for you.

Aspire.
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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:39

Hello and welcome to the No Cry Zone. I'm your host, Jim Best, and I'm excited to get this episode out and in front of you, into your ears, so to speak, so you can benefit from it as soon as possible. I hear people often talk about feeling stuck. I do think that's a term used way too often. So I'll just say don't focus on the stickiness of life. Let's instead focus on the solution. That's right. Today we're going to talk about how to make more progress faster than ever before. Sounds kind of incredible, does it? Well hear me out. We're going to learn how to make more progress faster than ever before, not by working yourself into exhaustion, not by trying to hustle 24 hours a day, not by chasing shortcuts or hacks. We're going to talk about making meaningful progress towards something that matters to you. But before we begin, let me share a personal story. I occasionally tell stories from my own career, and I want to explain why. I don't tell them to impress anyone. I tell them because they represent periods of intense personal growth and development. They are examples of principles that I've learned, applied, and benefited from firsthand. Many years ago, I was in a position where my next promotion seemed almost inevitable. My boss was expected to move up, and the natural result would have been an opportunity for me to move into his role. And we were both ready for that. Then something happened. My boss got passed over. Now, if you spent time in the corporate world, you know something important. Sometimes your boss getting passed over is actually worse for your career than you getting passed over personally. When a leader above you stops moving, opportunities below them often stop moving too. And you can almost hear doors shutting. The conventional wisdom at the time was straightforward. People in my position typically had to leave the organization if they wanted to advance. In fact, that's exactly what many people advised me to do. But I've long believed that one of the most powerful things we can do is take a negative and turn it into a positive. And some talk about this as taking a lemon and making lemonade. Whatever metaphor helps you remember it, it's a very powerful principle. When something negative happens, we don't just ask, how do I recover from this? Ask, how do I turn this into something even better? To me, that's personal development alchemy. It's the ability to transform setbacks into opportunities, not just small opportunities, big opportunities. Now, after my boss was passed over, I became intensely interested and frankly motivated in personal success and achievement. I started studying people who had devoted their lives to understanding how progress happens. People like Dennis Whaiteley, Brian Tracy, Tony Robbins, Jim Rohn, Zig Ziggler. If they had something valuable to say about success and personal development, I wanted to hear it. And in fact, much of what they taught me formed the basis and the beginning of much of what we talk about at Upwards Best and the No Cry Zone. One difference is I went out in the actual business world and applied it and then taught other people how to apply it. That's my basis for sharing this with you. Now, one message particularly resonated with me. Know exactly what you want. Don't obsess over how it's going to happen. Get clear on your outcome. So I did. I decided I wanted to become a manager within six months. Now remember, my manager had just been passed over, meaning he wasn't going anywhere for a while. Apparently. Now, six months. That was a tight deadline. But I didn't want to say someday. I didn't want to say as soon as possible. I didn't want to say three to five years within six months. I had no idea how it was going to happen, but I knew exactly what I wanted. Then something changed. And it was something that changed in me. I started acting like a leader before I became one. I started having the concerns of a manager before I became one. I took more responsibility. I asked for more responsibility. I followed through with exceptional diligence. I helped others succeed, supported the broader goals of the organization, helped my manager and our new boss. In short, my self-image changed before my title changed. And within six months, the boss who had been passed over was offered an opportunity in Europe. And he accepted. And I was promoted into his role. Six months. It wasn't a fantasy. It was not a motivational fairy tale. Something that actually happened. Now, why do I tell that story? Because nearly every principle we're going to discuss today was operating in that experience. So let's begin. Know what you want to achieve. The first reason many people fail to make progress is because they never become clear about what they want. You see this all the time. You may experience it personally. They know what they don't want. They don't want stress. They don't want debt. They don't want disappointment. But progress requires direction. When I set my goal, I didn't say I wanted a better career. I didn't say I wanted more opportunity. I said I wanted to become a manager within six months. Specific, clear, measurable. Your mind works better when it has a destination. Clarity is power. Vagueness creates and allows dangerous drift. Second principle, describe it in detail. The clearer the picture, the stronger the pull. Describe your future in detail. What does success actually look like? What are you doing in your new role, in your new responsibility, in your new life? Who are you serving? What responsibilities are you carrying? What opportunities are available? Many goals remain wishes because they're never developed into detailed visions. Your brain responds to specificity. The more vivid the target, the easier it becomes to move toward it. Third principle, describe how you will feel. This is so important and a step, frankly, that many people miss. And actually it's part of the fun. Most goals are emotional goals wearing practical clothing. People don't simply want more money. They want security, they want freedom, they want confidence, they want independence, they want options, they want recognition, they want respect. Ask yourself, how will I feel when I achieve my goal? Will I be proud? Will I be happy? Will I be capable? Will I feel respected? Will I feel fulfilled? What will it feel like telling people in my life? And we'll deal with this a little bit later. But those emotions create fuel and get you going and keep you going. Fuel matters when the challenges arrive. Fourth principle, do you need help? One of the biggest myths in personal development is that success is a solo journey. It isn't. It never is. After my setback, I sought help. Now, not all of the help would have actually helped me. We have to be very intelligent about who we listen to. But the help that I got was sometimes not from people around me, but from mentors through books, courses, recordings, and seminars. Dennis Waitley helped, Brian Tracy helped, Tony Robbins helped, Jim Rohn helped, Zig Ziggler helped. Many people helped shape my thinking. Ask yourself, who can help me? What specifically do I need? What information am I needing to become more successful and happier? And equally important, how can I reciprocate? How can I help others succeed? This is again how I got on my mission of being a net positive. One reason my promotion eventually happened is because I wasn't solely focused on my own advancement. I was helping others advance too. That is part of being that net positive. Fifth principle: what resources will you need? Every worthwhile goal requires resources. I knew I didn't have the right information at that time to be more successful. I knew that I was missing some steps. And I went forward and I found out what I needed to find out. You might need time, you might have money, you need education, training, relationships, experience, energy. Those are all your resources that you have. Don't underestimate being prepared. Ask yourself, what will this really require? What have I not brought to the table already that will help me achieve my goal? What skills must I build? What knowledge must I acquire? What new perspective should I consider? What investments, personal, social, emotional, maybe financial, must I make? Preparation dramatically increases the odds of success. Now, next we are going to handle the challenge that most people experience. It is such a serious problem that it stops way too many people from doing the things they really want to do and from having the life they think they want to have. First, we'll take a break. Here's Brazen Candor with I'll Be a Man About It off their just released second album, No Precedent. There are 15 other songs on their new album that you will enjoy just as much, if not more. I believe there is a bit of a promotion going on with the album currently, special pricing, so you might want to check it out right after we finish here. Now we're going to address the big problem that blocks many people. In fact, it blocks way too many, if you ask me, and it blocks them from the lives they truly want, and it keeps them from being their authentic self. And it is social pressure. However, in the no-cry zone, we call it out for exactly what it is: blowback. Psychologically and emotionally similar to the tremendously devastating physical blowback which firefighters fear and are all too often hampered or harmed by. Now, what blowback are you likely to experience? This is where many people get blindsided. Do not let this happen to you. We cannot be naive about the changes that we will display and experience as we make more progress quicker than ever. Progress does create resistance. Sometimes it's external, sometimes it's internal. Let's talk about these social pressures specifically to when we start making progress. Most people underestimate its power. Society applauds success after it happens. Before it happens, society often pressures you to remain exactly who you've always been. Why? Because you're easier to deal with that way. They're used to it. They're accustomed to it. It shakes up their world when you begin to make progress. Now, back to my story. The conventional wisdom told me to leave the company. That was the normalized response. Everyone assumed the opportunity had disappeared. But one of the themes I've explored repeatedly is this be careful what you normalize. People normalize disappointment, they normalize stagnation, they normalize settling, they normalize waiting. And once something becomes normalized, it begins to feel natural. You get fixed in an orbit, and it is really hard to break out of it. You stop questioning it, and that's dangerous. The moment you pursue meaningful growth, some people will question you. Who do you think you are? Why are you doing that? Ho ho ho look at you. Not necessarily because you're wrong, but because your growth disrupts expectations. Expect blowback. Not to do so is naive. So prepare for it and don't be surprised by it. Now, here's what I'm gonna call, and and please listen to these words and have an understanding of why I'm applying them here. They are powerful words. How to preempt, limit, squelch, or ignore blowback. Now I'll translate that for you. How to preempt, meaning prevent, anticipate and stop before it happens, how to limit, meaning cut it short, how to squelch, that means keep the noise down on it, or ignore pretend it never happened, social pressure, how to preempt, limit, squelch, or ignore blowback. Very important. This is where mental precision becomes critical. Before reacting to criticism, accurately identify the nature of the problem. Is this a real problem? A social problem? An emotional reaction on your part or somebody else, or is this a knowledge gap? A logistical obstacle? Different problems require different solutions, don't they? Most people respond emotionally before diagnosing accurately. Mental precision helps prevent that mistake. In my situation, many people would have concluded the opportunity is gone. They've obviously decided to go in another direction. What you were doing isn't working. But that wasn't true. The original path was gone, the opportunity wasn't. And I still had all the resources available and I could develop more. Those are completely different situations. Sometimes the obstacle isn't the destination, it's merely the route. Now, the next thing I want to talk about, we've talked about it before, is vivid mental rehearsal. And we talk about it when we're talking about our identity shaping, changing our self-image so that it's more amenable and more supportive of the life we want to lead. So one of the most powerful tools available is vivid mental rehearsal. It's more than positive thinking, you know that already. It's mentally experiencing success before it occurs. It's emotionally experiencing success. Seeing yourself perform, feeling yourself perform, seeing yourself respond, feeling yourself respond, seeing yourself succeed, feeling yourself succeed. I could already see myself operating as a manager. I could envision myself conducting meetings and giving feedback in a supportive, encouraging way. That's one reason I began acting differently. The future version of me became more familiar than the old version. Your self-image follows repeated experience. It doesn't know the difference between what you imagine and what is real. And vivid mental rehearsal makes the difference. Now I also want to talk about reluctance, dealing with reluctance, because we've got Unreluctance Day coming up on June 30th, as you probably know. So let's talk about something real. You will not always feel like it. Part of you wants growth, part of you wants comfort, part of you wants significance, part of you wants certainty. Part of you wants to be the one that gets all the attention, but sometimes we don't want the attention. I call this the internal politics of the mind. The future you is campaigning against your comfort zone. And your comfort zone has advantages. For one, it's an incumbent. Many people assume reluctance means to stop, but it doesn't. Reluctance is normal. Action, despite reluctance, is growth. That's your opportunity. The successful people are not the ones who never feel resistance. They're not the ones that never feel reluctant. They're people who learn to move forward in spite of it. And one of the things we talked about a lot, we're gonna do it again when comes September 30th, is Perpetual Momum Day. It's one of my favorite concepts, perpetual momentum. Many people focus on motivation. I think that's the wrong thing. Motivation is useful, but it runs out and it's unreliable. Momentum is far more powerful. Momentum is created through five elements. First, mindset. I can create my own momentum. It is not a physical property, it does not relate to the momentum in physics. It is something that I can generate personally. Second element, focus. What are you going to do with your momentum? You need to have the direction. Remember the clarity we took we started out with today. Then effective action. And those are two words that really channel your focus. Take effective action. Be mentally precise about what you're going to do. Anticipate what it's going to achieve for you. Anticipate unintended consequences. Very important. Next, you take your effective actions and you make them into habits so that you have routines, so that you You continually reinforce the positive effects of your perpetual momentum. Lastly, be a net positive. Now I'm gonna recap that. Mindset means believing improvement is possible. Focus means directing attention toward what matters most. Effective action means doing the things that actually move the needle. And habits create not only consistency, but it makes things easy for you. And it makes things convenient for you. And that positive means becoming someone who improves situations and helps people and creates value. And when you do that, people go on their way to support you. You know why? Because you are improving their situation by being who you are becoming. Looking back, I realized something. The promotion wasn't the greatest victory. The greatest victory was learning that circumstances do not have the final vote. Social pressure doesn't have the final vote. Blowback doesn't have the final vote. Organizational politics do not have the final vote. The final vote belongs to the person who remains sovereign. Remember, we talk about self-sovereignity. The ability to decide what your authentic life is going to be like. The person who maintains momentum. The person who refuses to normalize stagnation. The person who continues moving toward a worthwhile future. That's what we're talking about in the no-cry zone. Positive change that is doable and durable. Not the absence of difficulty. Not pretending life is easy. Not denying disappointment. Not trying to ignore problems. It's a refusal to surrender your future to temporary circumstances. Progress is always available. Opportunity is always out there. Growth is always within your reach. And often what first appears to be a setback is simply the beginning of your next opportunity. Aspire. Come upwards with us. Have an excellent week and thank you for sticking with us.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

I saw you last night by the corner cafe. Laughing with him with me out of the way. You look like a chapter, I still wanna read.

SPEAKER_01 25:07

I smile like a mant, kept my hands in my coat, swallow the truth like a lump in my throat. And I turn down the street where we used to go. That's what you'll see. But there's no need to doubt it. It's killin' me, it's killing me, I think what it needs This steady gaze, this quiet grave. I'll be a man about it. That's what you'll see, but there's no need to doubt it, it's killin' me. It's killin' Your name's still edge in the back of my mind. Strain's too forget, but it's all working to the box, but I can't throw them out, stop, stop, stop, go, let's go. I'll be a man about it. That's what you'll see. But there's no need to doubt it. It's killing me, it's killing me. I won't complain, but I love my God. Doesn't fade in the way. I'll be a man about it. That's what you'll see. But there's no need to doubt it. It's killing me.

SPEAKER_00 27:56

You're killing me.